


Can We Keep It

by casostrophe



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Happy Avengers, Happy Bucky Barnes, Happy Steve Rogers, M/M, Mildly-Irritated Steve Rogers, centered around Steve&Bucky&tony-friendship, everyone else is very minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:59:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16250618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casostrophe/pseuds/casostrophe
Summary: “Thank you, Stark. For that valuable information.” Sam deadpaned, swiveling his chair a bit in boredom. “We can all totally see that this is sexual. Seems like Cap and Bucky have got a superfan.”“Those are called Stans.” Natasha chirped and tapped her fingers on the table, showcasing an innocent smile.“I do not want to know how you know that.” Sam frowned.





	Can We Keep It

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of working on Let Me Help You (oops sorry fam) I went through my unfinished works and tweaked this one so I could post it,,,, enjoy? 
> 
> Ignore my grammar mistakes? Nobody has read this but me and now y’all get to :)

_Every Avenger report to the meeting room now. Urgent._

The text buzzed across Steve’s phone as it lay on the arm of his chair. He actually sighed when he read it.

Why can’t he just have a normal weekend? Can aliens or whatever this is just wait until Monday?

He begrudgingly peeled himself off the couch and slipped on a sweater, Bucky’s sweater to be precise, then slumped out the door. It took him approximately seven minutes to get to the meeting room. Would’ve taken longer if he’d taken the stairs, but he’s just ready to get this over with.

 “Aw, cute. You’re sharing clothes now?” Natasha mocked playfully, her feet crossed on the table and her arms behind her head as she leaned back.

Steve rolled his eyes and bit back a sarcastic remark, planting himself in a chair between Bucky and Sam. His fingers immediately flew up to rub at his temples while they waited for Tony to arrive. 

He didn’t even pay attention to any of the conversation floating around the room. He just silently prayed that whatever this was could not be serious enough for them to actually leave the tower. Maybe it’s just a another one of those Pinterest bonding activities Tony had found and wanted to try. Lifting his head up, Steve nodded. That sounded great.

“Hello, all of my lovely friends!” Tony greeted as he waltzed in the room with Rhodey and Vision following behind him.

All conversation fell as they took the three remaining seats, everyone’s attention turning to Tony. He waved a hand over the tablet in his grasp to reveal a Twitter account on the hologram that hovers over the table.

“This,” Tony started as Steve’s face started to melt from mild annoyance to pure rage.

Why the hell would Tony call an emergency meeting for a Twitter account? His hands went back to circling his forehead. Steve doesn’t get headaches, but this was the closest he’s gotten to one in seventy years.

“Is an account that Friday stumbled upon when doing her interval web searches.” Tony continued, his fingers swiping at the screen in his hands to pull up more images. Some from a while ago, other accounts that were found to be fake profiles under team members names. 

“What does this have to do with us?” Sam asked, raising his hand after giving Steve a weird look.

Tony beamed. “Well, it has more to do with freezer-burn over there.” He said and pointed to Bucky, whose face was very much resembling Steve’s. Sort of his natural look anyway. “You see, it’s a fake account under his name.”

Steve perked up at that. He straightened in his seat, leaning forward to get a better look at the hologram before them. It looked like any normal twitter account, except that it’s not.

The profile image‘s an up close view of Bucky. His face perfectly visible with his hair tied back, a broad smile on his face. Steve actually nodded at the picture choice, it’s one of his favorites. Steve did take it himself. The header behind it was a landscape view of Brooklyn. The username was something normal like “barnesbucky.”

The whole account looked like it could actually be Bucky’s if not for the fact that Tony seemed concerned about it. Plus, wouldn’t Bucky tell Steve if he had a secret twitter account? Right? 

Pursing his lips, Steve turned to Bucky. As usual, Bucky’s face was set in a scowl. He never showed any other emotion around people other than Steve and Sam. Claimed that he’d be showing weakness, but Sam liked to say that he did it to keep everyone on edge. Made him seem scary. The little shit loved teasing people.

“Okay? What’s so bad about it?” Natasha questioned from the back. She’d taken her feet off the table and instead chose to rest her elbows on it instead, propping her chin in her palm. “Seems like a normal thing. Like a fan account maybe?”

“So glad you asked that!” Tony laughed then scrolled to reveal the accounts tweets. “Early this morning, Friday alerted me of this tweet that she found.” He said, pausing to tap the tweet and blow it up to full screen. “It is mildly concerning and the only one that seemed out of the ordinary for this account.”

Steve tilted his head to the side as he read it.

 

**_Buck_** @ _barnesbucky_ tweeted:

So ready to murder Steve with my thighs tonight. #livingthedream

 

“It’s concerning because we don’t really know if it’s a threat, but it’s been flagged as one by Friday.” Tony said after everyone had a chance to read it. “We wanted to review it with all of you just to be safe. So opinions? Capsicle, Buckaroo, anything?”

Clint made a tiny chuckle from where he was seated beside Natasha. “That seems a bit sexual to me.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“Thank you, Stark. For that valuable information.” Sam deadpaned, swiveling his chair a bit in boredom. “We can all totally see that this is sexual. Seems like Cap and Bucky have got a superfan.”

“Those are called Stans.” Natasha chirped and tapped her fingers on the table, showcasing an innocent smile.

“I do not want to know how you know that.” Sam frowned.

 “I’m a spy remember?” Natasha singsonged with a flash of teeth.

 

Steve remained silent the whole time, his eyes trained on his boyfriend seated next to him. Something was going on here. Bucky glanced over at Steve and quirked an eyebrow. Steve narrowed his eyes.

“When was it posted?” Steve asked, not looking away from Bucky. Bucky just raised one corner of his mouth in a challenging half smile.

“Um, last night around eight. Why?”

Steve’s eyes couldn’t have possibly narrowed further. He could tell that Bucky’s biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. That little bastard.

 “No reason, Stark. Just wondering. Might give some clues.” Steve shrugged, feigning nonchalance when in reality he wanted to tug Bucky out of the room by his hair. “Are we done here? I’d like to talk with Buck about what we should to with this account.”

Tony blinked for a moment in surprise. “You actually want to do something about this?”

Bucky let out a small wheeze of a laugh that he tried to cover with a cough, and Steve kicked him under the table.

“Yeah, it’s identity theft. We won’t stand for this.” Steve said in his Captain America voice. Maybe it’d be enough to cover up that bold-faced lie he just told.

It seemed to work for Tony because the next thing they know, all of them are being dismissed until later that night. After Steve’s dealt with his idiotic boyfriend.

Neither of them say a word as the elevator carries them up to their floor that they stay in sometimes when they’re too tired to go home or just in the mood to be pampered. Ah, the luxury of friends.

When the door to the room shut behind them, Bucky fell to the floor in a fit of giggles. He clutched his belly as he rolled side to side and let the laughter bubble out of him. Steve stood above him with arms crossed over his chest and an annoyed expression.

“Buck, seriously?” Steve asked when Bucky had settled down. The man sprawled out flat on the floor, breathing heavily to recover from his fit.“Why would you do that?”

“I honestly didn’t think he would ever find it.” Bucky shrugged, crossing his arms above his head and using them as a pillow.

“Of course he’d find it. He’s Tony.” Steve sighed.

Bucky rolled over on his stomach, propping his chin in his hands and blinked up at Steve. His legs, now in the air, swung back and forth like a middle school girl gossiping on the phone with her best friend. It’s like something Nat would do to annoy Steve. Sometimes she’d get Clint to join her so it was double annoyance. Bucky’s picked up all their bad habits. Steve needs to restrict the amount of time Natasha influences him.

 

“What do you want to do about it?” Bucky asked, feet still swinging.

 

“Delete it.”

 

“No!”

 

“Yes!”

 

Bucky pouted as he pulled himself into a sitting position. “Why? I love my Twitter! Nobody knows that it’s really me, and everyone thinks I’m just a shitpost account.”

“I don’t even want to know how you know what the means.” Steve pointed a finger at him. “I don’t even know what that means.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before continuing. “What I’m saying is, we can say that we reported the tweet and I can just delete it.”

“That will help us how?” Steve asked suspiciously as he quirked a brow, jutting his hip out for emphasis.

“The tweet gets deleted, so we handled it, and I get to keep my Twitter!” Bucky beamed when he finished, brandishing his palms out to Steve like he’s offering the chance of lifetime.

Steve closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. It’s no use arguing with Bucky. Either way, he always gets what he wants.

“Alright. Fine.” Steve agreed with a defeated nod. Maybe this won’t come back to bite him in the ass.

 

 

——————

 

And like most times, Steve was wrong. As soon as the pair entered the meeting room later that night, they were both leveled with a glare from Tony.

“You knew! This whole time knew it was him!” Tony started with a yell. “I went through all this trouble to hack the server and gain access to the IP address just to find out it’s your own boyfriend threatening you with sexy time!”

Bucky paused from where he was lowering himself into a chair. His eyes wide in shock and a hint of admiration. He turned to Steve with pursed lips.

“You were right. He figured it out.”Bucky mumbled after lowering himself the rest of the way in his chair. “I have to tell my one-point-two million followers about this.”

 

Steve held back literal tears. Why does no one ever listen to him?


End file.
